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Responses to National Text Your Ex Day: What to Say, What to Avoid, and How to Protect Your Peace

Have you ever woken up to a message from an old flame that instantly pulled you back into memories you thought you’d buried? Now imagine an entire day designed for it—National Text Your Ex Day, observed every 30th of October. It’s both dreaded and celebrated, depending on who you ask. But here’s the real question: if your ex reaches out, how should you respond?

As someone who has been on both ends of those awkward “out of the blue” texts, I know it’s not just about words—it’s about emotions, boundaries, and sometimes even your mental health. In this article, we’ll explore thoughtful, witty, and respectful responses to National Text Your Ex Day, drawing on psychology, relationship expertise, and personal stories. By the end, you’ll not only know what to say but also how to stay grounded when nostalgia (or temptation) knocks on your phone.

Why National Text Your Ex Day Exists (and Why It Matters)

According to relationship therapist Dr. Sheri Meyers, “Unresolved relationships often linger in our minds, and even a small prompt can stir those feelings back to life.” National Text Your Ex Day was created as a playful cultural phenomenon, but underneath the humour, it raises serious questions: Should you respond? Should you ignore it? What if replying reopens wounds you’ve worked so hard to heal?

In fact, a 2019 study from Kansas State University found that nearly 40% of adults remain in contact with their exes, but those who do often report lower relationship satisfaction in their current partnerships. That’s why your response (or silence) matters more than you might think.

How to Decide Whether to Respond at All

Before typing a single word, pause. The way you respond to an ex depends on three things:

  1. Your current emotional state → Are you genuinely over the past, or do you still feel unresolved?
  2. Your current relationship status → Would replying feel disrespectful to your partner?
  3. The ex’s history → Was it a mutual breakup, or did it involve toxicity, manipulation, or abuse?

One personal rule I’ve followed since university: “If the person added chaos to my life before, they don’t get a second chance to rewrite the script through text.” That filter alone can save hours of emotional back-and-forth.

Possible Responses to Text Your Ex Day Messages

Let’s get practical. Here are real-world categories of responses you might consider—complete with examples that balance kindness, closure, and self-respect.

1. The Polite but Firm Reply

Sometimes, you want to acknowledge the message without opening a door back into the past.

“Hi [Name], I appreciate you reaching out. I’ve moved on and wish you all the best.”

This response is respectful yet definitive. It prevents false hope while leaving no room for misinterpretation.

2. The Closure-Driven Response

If the relationship ended abruptly or left things unsaid, you might want to acknowledge the day as a way to close a chapter.

“I’ve thought about our past, and while we had good moments, I know we’re better apart. I genuinely wish you happiness.”

Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains that “closure isn’t about getting answers—it’s about giving yourself permission to stop searching for them.” This kind of message achieves that.

3. The Friendly Yet Boundaried Reply

For those who ended on amicable terms and still wish each other well.

“Hey! Nice to hear from you. Life’s been busy, and I’m in a different place now, but I hope things are going well for you.”

Notice the subtle distancing: “different place now” sets a boundary without hostility.

4. The Humorous Deflection

Humour can be a safe shield, especially if the text feels awkward.

“Wow, so this day is actually a thing? I guess the internet wins again. Hope you’re keeping well.”

A light-hearted response avoids emotional entanglement while keeping things civil.

5. No Response at All

Sometimes, silence speaks volumes. Ignoring the message is a legitimate choice, especially if the relationship was harmful. As Dr. Meyers notes, “Choosing not to respond is an act of self-care, not cruelty.”

What Not to Do When Your Ex Texts

  • Don’t drunk-text back. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and raises regret.
  • Don’t play games. Responding just to make them jealous or curious can prolong emotional drama.
  • Don’t over-explain. You don’t owe them a diary of your healing journey. A simple message is enough.

Real Stories: How People Responded on Text Your Ex Day

When I asked a group of friends about this, their responses were telling:

  • Ayesha (28) said she ignored her ex’s message, calling it “the most empowering silence I’ve ever held.”
  • James (34) replied with humour: “Sorry, wrong number—my heart doesn’t live here anymore.”
  • Maya (25) sent a simple “Wishing you well,” explaining it helped her feel mature and detached.

These stories reveal that there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. The right response is the one aligned with your values and your stage of healing.

Protecting Your Mental Health During National Text Your Ex Day

Responding isn’t just about etiquette—it’s about protecting your peace. Experts recommend:

  • Journal before replying. Writing your feelings helps clarify whether you want to respond.
  • Talk to a trusted friend. Sometimes, an outsider’s perspective prevents emotional spirals.
  • Practise digital boundaries. Muting or blocking numbers is not immature—it’s self-protection.

FAQs

1. What if I still have feelings for my ex?
Pause before replying. Ask yourself: do you want closure or reconnection? If it’s reconnection, consider whether past issues were truly resolved.

2. Should I ever rekindle a relationship on this day?
While some couples do reunite, psychologists caution against making decisions based on nostalgia alone. Reflect first, then decide.

3. Is ignoring a message rude?
No. Protecting your boundaries is an act of respect for yourself.

4. Can I send a message to my ex on this day?
You can, but ask yourself: Is this for them, or for me? If it’s to soothe your own loneliness, it may be healthier to resist.

Final Takeaways: Crafting Responses That Reflect Your Growth

At its heart, National Text Your Ex Day isn’t about your ex—it’s about you. It’s an opportunity to measure how far you’ve come, how strong your boundaries are, and how much peace you’re willing to protect.

Whether you respond with kindness, wit, or silence, the key is alignment. If your words (or lack thereof) reflect your current self, then you’ve already “won” the day.

Over to you: Have you ever been texted—or texted someone—on National Text Your Ex Day? How did you respond, and what did you learn from it? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear your perspective.

External Sources for Further Reading:

Read Also: How to Respond to Happy Teachers’ Day Wishes

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