Have you ever been caught off guard by a compliment? Someone says, “You did a brilliant job on that project” or “I love your outfit”, and suddenly you’re fumbling for words, unsure whether to smile, brush it off, or give one back. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Responding to compliments is a subtle social skill, yet it plays a huge role in how others perceive us — our confidence, humility, and emotional intelligence.

When I first started university presentations, I remember one of my professors saying, “That was very well explained.” Instead of thanking him, I awkwardly said, “Oh, it was nothing.” Later, I realised I had unintentionally dismissed his kind words. That moment taught me an important lesson: how we respond to compliments matters just as much as the compliments themselves.

In this guide, we’ll explore not only the etiquette of responding to compliments but also the psychology behind it, expert-backed insights, and practical strategies you can use in everyday life.

Why Responding to Compliments Matters

Compliments are more than casual niceties — they are micro-moments of connection. Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that compliments strengthen social bonds, boost self-esteem, and even improve workplace collaboration. The way you respond can either enhance that bond or unintentionally weaken it.

Think of it this way: if someone hands you a gift and you push it back, it feels dismissive. Similarly, rejecting or downplaying a compliment can leave the giver feeling unappreciated. On the other hand, accepting a compliment gracefully can project confidence and gratitude.

Common Mistakes People Make When Responding to Compliments

Before we dive into the right ways to respond, let’s look at the common pitfalls:

1. Deflecting – “Oh, this old shirt? I just threw it on.”
2. Self-deprecating humour – “Thanks, but I’m really terrible at this most of the time.”
3. Ignoring it altogether – Responding with silence or quickly changing the subject.
4. Over-crediting others – “It wasn’t me, it was all my team.” While it’s good to acknowledge teamwork, completely erasing your contribution downplays your effort.

These responses may feel humble, but they can make you seem insecure or dismissive.

The Art of Responding: Practical Strategies

1. The Simple “Thank You” (With Eye Contact)

The most effective response is often the simplest. Saying “Thank you” with genuine eye contact shows you appreciate the recognition without overcomplicating things. Dr. Debra Campbell, a psychologist and relationship expert, notes that “receiving a compliment with grace communicates self-respect and emotional openness.”

Example:

• Compliment: “You did a great job on that report.”
• Response: “Thank you, I worked hard on it and I’m glad it shows.”

2. Acknowledge Effort or Specifics

Instead of brushing off the compliment, acknowledge what went into it. This creates authenticity.

Example:

• Compliment: “You’re such a good cook!”
• Response: “Thank you! I tried a new spice mix this time, I’m glad it worked.”

This approach validates the giver’s observation while highlighting your effort.

3. Share the Credit (Without Losing It)

It’s great to acknowledge others, but don’t erase yourself from the picture.

Example:

• Compliment: “The event was fantastic.”
• Response: “Thank you! The whole team worked hard, and I’m glad I could play my part.”

This balance shows humility and leadership.

4. Return the Compliment — But Only if Genuine

A forced compliment feels transactional. If you truly notice something worth mentioning, go ahead.

Example:

• Compliment: “You look great in that colour.”
• Response: “Thanks! That scarf really suits you too.”

5. Add a Personal Touch

Sometimes, expanding on your response makes it more memorable.

Example:

• Compliment: “You’re so good at public speaking.”
• Response: “Thank you, I used to be terrified of it, but I’ve been practising for years.”

This not only accepts the compliment but also adds a story that humanises you.

The Psychology Behind Compliment Responses

Why is it so difficult for many people to accept compliments? According to Dr. Christopher Littlefield, an expert in employee appreciation, many people reject compliments because of low self-esteem or fear of seeming arrogant. Yet, paradoxically, gracefully accepting compliments actually increases likability.

A study by the University of California, Santa Barbara found that people who accept compliments with gratitude are rated as more confident, trustworthy, and pleasant to interact with. That means your response doesn’t just affect the moment — it shapes how others perceive your character long-term.

Responding to Compliments in Different Settings

At Work

• Right way: “Thank you, I’m glad my report was helpful.”
• Wrong way: “It was nothing, anyone could have done it.”

Professional settings call for balanced responses that show confidence without arrogance.

In Friendships

• Right way: “Thanks, I knew you’d notice. You always appreciate the little things.”
• Wrong way: “Oh stop it, you’re exaggerating.”

Friendship-based compliments often have an emotional undertone. A warm acknowledgement strengthens the bond.

In Romantic Relationships

• Right way: “Thank you, it means a lot coming from you.”
• Wrong way: “Nah, I look awful today.”

Dismissing a partner’s compliment can unintentionally hurt their feelings.

Cultural Nuances in Compliment Responses

Not every culture responds to compliments in the same way. For example:

• In Japan, it’s common to deflect compliments modestly.
• In Western cultures, accepting with a simple “thank you” is considered polite.
• In Middle Eastern cultures, complimenting possessions is often followed by offering them — which shows generosity rather than literal expectation.

Understanding these nuances is especially important in cross-cultural communication.

Actionable Tips to Practise Accepting Compliments

1. Pause before responding – Take a breath to avoid dismissive reactions.
2. Smile genuinely – Non-verbal communication matters as much as words.
3. Keep it short and sincere – Long over-explanations can dilute your message.
4. Practise with small compliments – Start with simple ones like “Nice shoes.”
5. Write it down – If you receive compliments at work, note them. It builds confidence and serves as a record of your strengths.

FAQs

How do I respond if I don’t agree with the compliment?

You can still accept it politely. For example: “Thank you, that’s kind of you to say.” You don’t need to argue against it.

Is it okay to give a compliment back immediately?

Yes, but only if it’s genuine. Forced or automatic compliments can feel insincere.

What if I feel awkward receiving compliments?

That’s normal. Start practising with small responses like “Thanks, I appreciate it.” Over time, it becomes easier.

How do I respond to backhanded compliments?

Stay calm and neutral. For example: “Thank you, I’ll take that as a compliment.” This keeps the exchange polite without escalating.

Final Thoughts

Learning how to respond to a compliment isn’t just about good manners — it’s about confidence, connection, and authenticity. By accepting kind words with grace, you not only validate the giver’s effort but also reinforce your own self-worth.

So next time someone says “You did amazing,” pause, smile, and simply say, “Thank you, that means a lot.” You’ll be surprised how much stronger your relationships and self-confidence become.

What about you? How do you usually respond when someone compliments you? Share your experiences in the comments — your story might help someone else find the perfect reply.